Im sorry if i write in here. I havent heard from you in days. Its okay, i understand youre hurt. Im sorry.
Today was a special day for me, to be able to be here means the world to me. Even though im just here for 3 days, i miss you like crazy, i think about you all the time and when the dj started playing a certain song, i almost lost it, my emotions. I dont know if its okay to say this, but i think you overreacted. I wish you were here to experience this too, just a warm and safe feeling about love. But its okay if you ignore this too. Hope youre having nice days. I love you
I know I’m not adviced to write in here anymore, but I’m gonna do it anyway. I know you stil come here so I’m not worried that it won’t be read.
First off, I’m not doing this to stir any bad feelings between us. I think, currently, we are riding on some positive vibes and that’s good, right?
As much as I wish that it would stay this way, I know it won’t haha, we know its a roller coaster and you, nor me can control it. So I’m well prepared for a possible shitstorm.
I’m sure sooner or later we are gonna meet again. This is, at least, how it’s going, kind of inevitable. Unfortunately, I stil can’t put on a timetable on that due to my thoughts and activities, so bare with me.
But I want to tell you that I have been thinking about and wishing for it without voicing it out to you. So now you know at least, -even though- I don’t seem to be interested.
It’s been hard for me to keep you out of my mind. Since well, you’re there all the time and, it’s as if you just live there. It keeps me so occupied, to the point where I start to wonder if you feel the same aswel. I think you do though, based on your blog. :) I’m in love with you, I guess that’s the reason why.
There’s really not much else I can say about it. -I love you.- I’m keeping myself busy with summer, adventure and stuff and what not.
But at the end if the day, I just think about you and those three words. I’m at peace with that, even though its lost or forever broken, we stil had (have) it and, I’m blessed I experience(d) it with you. And because of this, I don’t think I can ever let go.
Or even be remotely interested in someone else. It’s basically you or nothing I have to choose between. And I guess for the moment it’s the latter.
And it’s sad that we’ve gone through some bad stuff (again) when we ended it, and ill take part of the blame, I’m not perfect I know that now, so I’m sorry beforehand. I’m not here to blame you, don’t worry. I really don’t want to go down that road.. or manipulate you, if you see it that way. Just an honest and sincere letter to you about my feelings to you.
It wasn’t really unexpected though, the things that happened, by the nature of our past and relationship we currently have, I’ve noticed it’s quite unhealthy :p but hey, we just can’t get enough (of the good that is).
I’m not really sure what I want, let me tell you that. Life without pressure and demands, it’s quite relaxing, but it’s without you, that’s -the- biggest problem :) I wish I could combine it somehow.
Well, that’s it for now, I’m getting tired again. React on this text however you want, good, bad, I mean nothing is really unexpected anymore.
Wish you the best, I miss you.
Ps. This is an accurate reflection of what’s going on in my head, not what you think. :p
“Do not fall in love with people like me we will take you to museums and parks and monuments and kiss you in every beautiful place so that you can never go back to them without tasting us like blood in your mouth”